Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Haloween Jokes 2006

Every year I ask the trick or treat kids for a joke. Have a joke, get a big candy bar; no joke, small candy bar. So every year I get more jokes.

Here are this year’s batch. Remember, kids are not politically correct.

  • Why do blonds hate M&Ms? They are too hard to peel.
  • Why did the pilot go to the dentist? To get his chopper fixed.
  • A nun, a clownfish and a homeless person go into a bar with purple carpet. What did the nun say? I’d like a drink.
  • What did zero say to eight? Love you belt  [ 0 8, get it?]
  • What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.
  • Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn’t know – he was a stupid chicken.
  • Blue house is built with blue bricks. Red house is built with with red bricks. Orange house is build with orange bricks. Yellow house is built with yellow bricks. What is a green house built of? Glass.
  • What do you call a fat, lazy squirrel laying on the ground? Ground meat.
  • What do Michael Jackson and XBox have in common? Both are made of plastic and went from black to white.
  • What did one tooth say to the other? We better get dressed up, the dentist is taking us out today.
  • Plane crashes on the Canadian & US border. Where to they bury the survivors? They don’t bury survivors.
  • You go into the bathroom as American. You leave the bathroom as American. What are you in the bathroom? European. [Say it.]

Monday, October 09, 2006

Keith Olbermann Special Comment

Olbermann wakes us up and points out the most recent lies of the President who is endangering this country. I stand by my comment from four years ago that Bush should be impeached over the lack of weapons of mass destruction. But I’d settle for impeaching Channey, at this point.